Questions about What to Wear on a First Date?

For most of us, getting dressed for a date especially if it’s a first date, or even a second or a third date is pretty second nature. A clean shirt, a non-wrinkled dress, a nice pair of shoes all seem like obvious decisions, but do they really matter? As it turns out, what to wear on a first date actually matters a whole lot more than any of us probably want to admit. Meaning, will it really affect how your date views you if you’re dressed or not dressed a certain way? Are we over-thinking the whole thing? To get to the bottom of the dating-meets-fashion debate, here are some of the most frequent questions usually asked by ladies, as well as myself about what to wear during a date.

Does what you wear on a date really matter?

It does matter for sure. One of the things I did is interview men and women across the country, and I asked men: what are the things you first notice about women? One thing they brought up often is clothing; depending on the guy of course, he’s not going to notice labels or trends or anything like that but dressing yourself is a little bit like personal branding. It does say a lot about who you are. If he hasn’t talked to me yet, and is just looking at my photos on a dating profile, or from across the room, he uses clothing to determine if he might like me and if we might get along.


Does it go both ways? Or are just men eyeballing women’s fashion choices?

The “metrosexual” has died down a bit, but women do want men who have personal style. It doesn’t have to be a certain type of personal style, per se, but women do want someone who knows how to dress, who has some kind of aesthetic for himself that shows off what his personality is.


For people who don’t follow fashion closely, will their date’s clothing have an effect?

Another thing that I’ve learned in studying this and talking about this is that one of the ways to instantly make yourself more attractive and more presentable to other people is your clothing. It’s not so much what label or what trend, but that they fit well, and what state your clothes are in. People look more confident and more put together in clothes that fit them. That seems self-explanatory and obvious, but there are some people who just don’t put any thought into what they wear on first dates.


Why do you think the fit and appearance of clothing is so impactful?

These are the changeable parts of our appearance. I can’t easily change my body shape, but my clothing choice is something I can definitely alter. Personal style is branding: what I wear does determine the type of person that I’m going to attract.


What are some of the most common mistakes you’ve seen people make when choosing their dating attire?

Something that often comes up is high heels for women. Women either totally love heels or may never be seen without them, or they hate them and never wear them. But sometimes they’ll try to alter that to fit a guy’s height. Sometimes I wear flats on the first date because I’m worried about being taller than my date; but it’s really just about how awesome I feel. It’s not like he’s going to grow if I keep dating him, so I just wear my heels. If I do wear heels though, I make sure it’s not a super active date. I make sure I know what I’m doing ahead of time.


I hope these frequent questions helped you with your choice of clothing for your date. Don’t be afraid to explore different clothing’s. Be bold and fashionable!


6 Dating Venues in London

Are you thinking that going on dates is very expensive? Better think again because I have found some nice venues truly right for a date, and it cheap.

  1. Try the Heart and Seoul of Korean Food at Koba’s little sister, On The Bab.

On the Bab, sister to Fitzrovia’s acclaimed Koba and Nizuni, is Old Street’s contribution to the growing Korean food obsession in London. And I think they are doing it rather well. The whole concept is based around the Korean social phenomenon ‘anju’ which basically means ‘food with alcohol’, my favourite kind with a perfectly balanced dinner and drinks menu featuring anju staples and a few creations of their own, and served with the super-secret On the Bab sauce.


  1. Going for a tour of the BBC.

The Beeb is a Great British Institution. So many wonderful memories, regardless of your generation, have been created whilst we’ve basked in its cathode rays and high definition. The great doughnut at White City is no longer its beating heart, the back-drop to our televisual landmarks like Morecambe and Wise, Strictly Come Dancing and Children in Need. This building, the interiors, and the studios themselves, have become iconic and recognisable characters in their own right.


  1. Bumble down to Columbia Road Flower Market and find the best bunch you can get for a tenner.

London’s favourite flower market happens every Sunday come rain or shine. And flower shopping on Columbia Road of a Sunday morning is one helluva Date Idea so say I over at DoingSomething. If you’ve never been, you’re in for a treat. Before you start thoughtlessly giving out and receiving flowers, be sure to read up on the meaning attributed to them. My insider tip: red roses are for love, pink roses, for friendship and yellow for hope.


  1. Fend off the frostbite with delicious Artisanal Gelato from Snowflake.

Oh the weather outside is frightful, and what better to beat the cold than a delicious artisanal gelato? Me and my date could even share a Snowdrift Sundae as we marvel at London’s largest Gelato counter in the Soho boutique. Still seem a little too chilly? Both stores, the other is in Bayswater, have a mind-blowing molten hot chocolate tap, heaven!


  1. Making friends with London llamas at Mudchute City Farm.

Billed as ‘country life, in the heart of East London’, Mudchute City Farm is the perfect antidote to city living, I mean, I love London, totally LOVE it. And I’d never actually move to the country or anything extreme like that. But going on a country date without having to go further than the Isle of Dogs? That’s right up our street or field, as the case may be. So pull on your wellies and your waxed jacket, and head down to Mudchute. Be safe in the knowledge that, when you’re done with all that countryside stuff, you can hop on the DLR and be back in civilisation within minutes.


  1. Going for a stroll in Hyde Park and ending up at the Serpentine gallery.

Why not take a stroll through Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens where you’ll find yourself emerging on The Serpentine. Established in 1970 and taking its name from The Serpentine Lake, the gallery founded by The Arts Council of Great Britain in 1991 and for its first years is only open on a limited basis mainly during the summer months.


You don’t have to have your date on the same spot. Try and explore the many venues in London for your date.





How to Approach a Guy on Your Date?

Whether it’s a blind date or someone you’re already acquainted with, the first meeting with a dating prospect brings with it a host of emotions, more commonly a mixture of excitement and nervousness. As the pivotal moment approaches, thoughts can become centred on such questions as: “Will he like me?” “Will I like him?” “Is he going to be The One?” “What if I mess things up and make a fool of myself?” “What will I talk about? What if I run out of things to say?”


This article will offer some tips on how to approach your first date with that lucky guy you’ve chosen to get to know in sequence of that date’s occurrence. While these are by no means “rules”, these ideas can offer a means to ground yourself and make the most out of the experience without sabotaging it before it gets off the ground.


Be in the right place. It’s best to ask someone out in person, so you’ve got to make sure to be where the guy you have a crush on is. This could be at the mall, the movies, school, or maybe at the baseball field if he’s an athlete.


Take the initiative. Unfortunately, many guys are too afraid to walk up to someone they’re interested in and ask them out. Take matters into your own hands. Walk up to him slowly but don’t creep him out, and introduce yourself.


Make small talk with him. Break the ice by commenting on something he’s wearing or saying something about the place or event you’re at. Just try to get him to feel comfortable around you.


Commence flirting. This can mean touching him lightly on the arm, for example, or laughing at his jokes. Just be playful and communicate that you’re interested. Sometimes you can flirt from afar and entice him to come over to you.


Ask him non-intrusive questions about himself, such as what kinds of things he likes to do, what his favourite kind of food is, or if he likes to play sports. By asking harmless little questions you can find out more about him to determine if you really want to ask him out, and you might find out whether or not he’s single. You can also set up the conversation to ask him out.


Ask him out. Once you find something you both have in common, ask if he’d like to do it together sometime. Do not just rush up to him and say the words or ask a friend to ask him out for you. Guys hate that. It is embarrassing. If you don’t succeed in finding something you have in common, you might not really find him that interesting, but if you want to take a chance, just let him know that you’d like to hang out with him again.


Nothing gets the heart pumping quite like the nervous anticipation that goes along with going out on a first date with a guy but be cool. Don’t worry too much. Having fun with your date is what matters.


The Freudian Ideal And Love

Well, I’ve never been a psych student and most of what I learned about the works of Sigmund Freud was through the Internet. No, I don’t claim to be an expert about his theories. It’s just that it’s interesting to see that most of us women looking for men were actually looking for our fathers, and vice-versa.

Like most people, I take it with a small pinch of salt; just leave some doubt that it’s true and leave some doubt that it isn’t. Sometimes, or oftentimes rather, it’s the other way around. It could possibly be that you love someone for what they are and not because you’re looking for someone, let alone your dad, in the man or woman of your dreams.

Of course, dating is something similar to that. I was never a dater but I never grew up with a father. My dad was gone when I was five and never really got to know him. So I had some father figures I admire. Like my early elementary professor for example.

These people forged in me the idea of what a man should be. Intelligent, desirable and cunning. Being that my mom taught me that women should be as shrewd as men. Women are known to be more emotional; you’ll have to agree with this one. Dating can be very difficult.

You could be rejected by men and then you’ll question your entire personality. You’ll question what drove the man away from you. You’l l ask yourself if you look ill and silly.

The thing is this; there’s really no way you could be perfect for any person. Sure, they can desire you and you could like them. They can be someone that you really admire and love and they do that for you as well. But every human has a patience gauge. And when patience runs out, well, that’s when you know if the relationship is worth fighting for or not.

This is why when we date, we want to see if the other person could be interested. Dating has become our means to reach out to people given our very hectic schedule and lifestyle. It’s probably because we lack the soirees, parties or nightlife we had during our educational years that meeting someone the same as you, or someone you admire, is a rare opportunity.

And when you do, being rejected becomes very painful, right?

That’s why one time, I turned to the Freudian philosophy. I asked about my date’s mother, how she was with him. Then I subtly imitated it. The man was immediately attracted to me, showing signs that we could progress to a second date. But afterwards, I reverted to my original self. The man actually admitted to me that my personality did a 360 from the first time we met. I never told him the reason, but I said that I’m just being me.

I will stress it further; being you is never wrong. If you’re not the mother-figure known by the man, you could never be near-perfect for him. However, I can help you find the signs to see if the man is interested in you not just for the second date, or this month, or this year.

I’ll help you see if he’s still interested in you forever.